A Little Time at the Home of Hope

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Moments to Cherish

At this point, it seems as though the weeks are going by in fast forward. With less than two weeks left here at the albergue, my heart is already heavy with the looming farewells. The past few weeks have been intense. Although it seems as if we are enduring formidable trials, God's answer of prayer and steadfast love have never been more evident. The night before I left home to come here my dad read me Psalm 46 which says:

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling."

He told me that I would need to remember this chapter in the months to come. He never could have known how right he was, how true this chapter would be in so many different facets of my trip, how much I would need to be constantly reminded of it. When things seem to have gotten as low as they could get, I can remember God is our refuge, He will protect these children. So in that I can rejoice, and even see how He has worked these difficult situations out for good.

On a different, yet similarly reflective note. When you come to an orphanage, you expect, well at least hope, to be of great service. Even if you wouldn't say it out loud, you plan to come and "change lives." And while this is all good, things don't exactly work that way. At first you are wrapped up in the newness of everything, and suddenly, one day, you are in a routine... no longer thinking of the reasons that you came, but just getting through every day. You need to be re-hardwired, to remember why you came, why you desired to serve in the first place. When those desires are reinforced, you come to another realization. Those children are teaching you just as much as you are teaching them. To watch sisters with such fierce and protective love for one another, I want that. To see the forgiveness of a child, when great evil has been done against them. When everything seems to be going wrong and yet to still hear the laughter of children. To have the children love you, even when you have been grumpy and mean. To hear a child who cannot speak, say your name. To see the joy in the sweet little girl's eyes, when she comes running to show you something she has accomplished. To see fatherless children trust God as the Father who will never abandon them, even when everyone else has.

So during these next weeks, I will savor the moments I have left. I will remember the smiles, cherish the laughter, praise the victories and help through the trials, and pray that God uses me. I will pray that I finish out my time here strong, pouring out all the love that I possess, remembering I can only love because the heavenly Father first loved me.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

For I know the plans I have for you...

I am back in the home of the Chispas, the house mother until further notice. I cannot give out details as to why I have returned, however I ask for your prayers. Pray that I would have wisdom in dealing with each one of these dear little ones. Pray that the words I speak would not be my words, but those of God. Pray for these girls that they would know God as their Father, the perfect Father.

Here are some verses I have been thinking about today.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

- Pray for the children's futures, pray that they would have hope.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." Psalm 46:1-3

- Pray that every single child knows God is their refuge and their strength.

"For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" Romans 8:15

- Pray that each girl would be able to cry Abba! Father!

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

- Pray that we would all remember that God works ALL things together for the good of those who love Him.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

- Pray for me. Pray that I would not grow weary, but instead get my strength from the LORD. Even now as I am writing this, I was called away to deal with a baby who both vomited and had explosive diarrhea in her sleep. As I clean her up with toilet paper, due to the lack of wet wipes, I must remind myself that God is my strength. I need constant reminder, even in such a menial task. In the days to come, there will be much bigger mountains to climb. Pray that I would not focus on myself, but instead spend ever minute pouring out the Father's love to these children.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sufficiency in Christ and in Him Alone

The time is up, my work is done. No, it is not yet time for me to leave this place, nor am I close to being done with all of the work that I will do here, but one monumental task is complete. After more than a month working with the Chispas, as their house mother, I have been relieved of my position. With this comes a bittersweet colliding of emotions. I am in many ways glad to be done. It was a tiring job. Hours of work, stress on emotions and frustration when the children refuse to do even the simplest of tasks. Yet, ask any mother and she will say that the same. I am not saying any of this to complain, but to recognize the sheer amount of work that so many women I know do. I am sorry to say I have taken their work for granted. On the other side of things, I am sad to go. In the past month I have grown closer to those little girls. Each one (yes, even the one I find so hard to love), has wormed her way into my heart. I will miss my special moments with them at night. I will wish to again see them glancing my way, looking for approval. Because of these moments, I would not trade my time as a "mother" for anything.

The past month has done more for me than just strengthening my bond with the kids. It was another step in my process of refinement. I know that I could not have made it through one day without the strength given to me by God the Father. When my tormented little girl screamed, cried, and tried to hit herself for over an hour, I would have liked to leave. God however, gave me patience, that is not normally mine, to sit with, pray for, and hold this precious child until she could calm down. In many situations like this, I saw how much I was lacking, yet God was there. He provided the strength to get up in the morning and keep me going through the day. Like is promised in Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." God did not leave me or forsake me. While you may be thinking, "Come on Elizabeth, its only a month." I tell you, a month can seem like a very long time when you are in the middle of it, and I praise God for His faithfulness. I now pray that God will use the time I spent with the girls to be a benefit in their futures, that they would not remember the many times I was impatient or upset, but remember the conversations we had of God's love and how he is their Father.

So while there are many things, important in the eyes of many, that I cannot do, there is something I can. I can take care of kids, and I can make a difference. Why do I worry so much about the small things, the things I "can't" do, when I can come here, at twenty years old, being no one out of the ordinary, and help these kids? All they need is love and care. I can love because God the Father first loved me. He gave me parents who showed me what it means to care for their children and to love them with God's love. So these precious children need care and love? That I can do.

Here are some pictures from the past few weeks. Many more are to come.